Yes, we are separated since 7/1/08. This was my decision. During July he was realizing a lot of things and wanted to work things out and asked I do not see anyone. Well, b/c I was trying to figure things out and someone took great interest in me, I went out with someone else. My H found out the beginning of August about it while we were on vacation. Since then, things are completely different. He has started to see some 22 year old girl (he's 35, I'm 32) and parading her around town. Though a friend of mine tells me he talks about me and our old life in front of this girl, he continues to carry on a relationship with her. THis KILLS me. Further, every time we talk we end up arguing. He uses this as justification or validation why we shouldn't be together. He takes every opportunity to tell me how happy he is without me and how I make his life miserable. This hurts so bad b/c it makes me feel like trash thrown in the garbage and as if I meant nothing to him for the past 10 years we have been married. Today he tells me he wishes he could have nothing to do with me at all but impossible b/c of the kids. I have been trying not to contact him for some time now and do my best. I just drop off kids and keep texts simple and short (NO conversations in person or phone). I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel as if everything I do is wrong. My job sucks and I'm just going through motions. We've been married for 10 years together 11. We have 3 kids. I just want to get to a point of peace. The appearance I try to portray to him is that I'm fine...look great with a smile and keep my distance. I've even tried dating but that completely sucks. I do feel SO HOPELESS. Not sure where to go from here...Thanks for your responses!! I do have my therapy today thank GOD! I will have to tell her my feelings, though afraid she will break confidentiality and tell my parents. THey will only make me crazier!!
