First - ((((Trixi)))) I know you feel like crap inside right now. For that I'm sorry and I feel for you.
I agree whole-heartedly with what Sara said to you. Get off the floor and stay off the floor. You are worth more than he is giving you. You deserve more than he is giving you.
You can try to analyze what is going on in his head, all the good things that have happened in the last 6+ months, why he feels like he does etc., until the cows come home, you will never understand his way of thinking. The only thing you can do now is take care of you.
You need to end all contact with him. Starting today. Unless it is business and absolutely necessary, no contact. He needs to feel the repercussions of his choices. He will never feel them if he *knows* you there for him. So stop being available to him at all.
I know its going to be hard, but you need to move on with your life like he is not in it at all. Fill your life with things that you love, without him as a consideration, period. I know you've been doing all sort of things that you love to do. Keep that up and fill your time with more of what you want. Make yourself busy. Even if all you want to do is to be home working on your art. That's great. Schedule that time and to bad for anyone else. YOU COME FIRST. If it's really meant to be, he will eventually get it.
