I've been reading this thread eyes wide like saucers because it's soooo much like my situation and so many questions are my questions.
At times I remind myself about an affirmation that "Just because I f*cked up, doesn't give me the right to give up". So here I am, reading the book and doing the coaching and GALing and going to counseling and reclaiming my masculine self to deal with old anxieties and fears that made me have the "A with porn" to begin with. I know I've changed. But I can't afford to jump on a pedestal and wave my arms saying "Look at me. Look at me!". She'd never believe it and has told me so.
At the same time, I'm starting to wake up from a fog and can see the nasty side of her character that I was blind to for all these years. I don't want to go back to that. And I remember people warning me about it, but I was blind with love. That nasty side was there, is there and probably will be there. Do I want that? Not really. But at the same time, I know if I don't accept her totally as she is, then why would anyone bother to get into a relationship with someone else if they didn't feel accepted. Now how is that supposed to work out?
H42 W36 M9 yrs D8 D5 d-day: 21/11/07 S and moved out: 22/2/08 Still S: 22/11/10
