Wow! That's a development for sure. I should warn you, though, that he may be thinking that he's going to go to counseling so you'll finally understand that he's done. I'm not saying that he really is done...he's obviously not! But, I am saying that might be his motive. My H did the same thing when our trouble started last year.
I would see if someone at DB can recommend a counselor. You do need someone who can help quickly, and if your H is like my H, he will only give it 3 sessions before he's done. With a standard counselor, 3 sessions ain't near enough!!!
And, I'd be real upfront that your H was less than enthusiastic about the counseling. If they know that, they can put your H on the hook in the beginning for attending several sessions, etc. Then he's committed that to someone else...not you. He might stay with it better if that's the case.
I see this as a huge opportunity. But, in the meantime, you might want to back off the R talk a little. You likely don't even realize that you do it (I don't realize in my sitch and NikB always points out what I should have done differently!). But, I think you might be better off scheduling the counseling; Telling him when it is; And, making that the only R talk you have between now and then.
Remember that everytime you say, "So, you really don't see a future with me?" it forces him to respond with something like, "No. Not now." Because he doesn't right now...if he did, he'd move home, and he can't do that (pride)!!! That reenforces in his mind what he's been telling himself for a while. Don't make him keep saying things like that out loud! Quit asking. When you talk about D's issues with the sitch...make sure that you focus only on D's issues and what the 2 of you can do to help her deal with things.
I think you've been given a tremendous opportunity here! Use it to it's fullest advantage!!! I'll be rooting for you.
Amy
Me 39 H 36 S 7 S 4 T 15 M 12 H out 8/1/08 OW confirmed 8/6/08 D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!
