A few weeks ago my W (S for about 1 1/2 mos.) wanted me to sell the house (she works at a university, does not follow the news cycle and does not have any idea about the mortgage crisis right now).

She wanted the house sold so she could be off the mortgage and financially independent.

I have balked since in order to sell it quickly she wants me to sell it for what we have in it, not market value.

We would lose $35K equity instantly. We are already into that much credit card debt.

I have been reluctant to do this, b/c I have no reason to believe that doing so will bring her back.

Since that conversation however, she has told me we are not getting reconcilled, when only a week before she said that she might consider reconcilliation after she had been in her own place for 2 mos.

Is it possible that not feeling financially free and independent is really what triggered the change in attitude ? She was upset that I would not 'just put a sign in the yard'.

Btw, I have no desire to up and move and end up having to rent a cheap apt. somewhere. I have a dog and I want a yard for D6 to play in. And I want some continuity for D. Not to mention the cost and effort of moving.

I also don't want to hurt ourselves financially, (neither me or my D but also my W if we get back together).

But frankly I'm beginning to wonder if this is the issue that made her change her mind about possiblity of reconcilliation.

I know no one out there can read minds, but any thoughts ?

Last edited by native; 10/02/08 05:01 AM.
Me 47, W 32,D 6,
Met 11 yrs. ago, M 7
Bomb 4/08/08, Sep. 8/10/08, Div. 8/10/09