1.) Another call from 'A' yesterday as I was journaling. I text 'A' this morning to let him know that I was rushing off to do some errands, but I could talk to him soon. 2.) His initiating makes me relax and breathe better. 3.) I had a nice independent day today -- day of beauty, checked in at work, took care of myself. 4.) Got an old classic movie for my parents and I to watch together. I spent the rest of the night there. It was fun. 5.) Tomorrow it will be 3 weeks since 'A' and I have talked. Sometimes, I wonder what he wants to talk about. I wonder if he is really looking for me. 6.) I noticed that after two weeks, the calls start coming. I suppose that is good to know. 7.) It is difficult to change this behavior. It is like a drug I want to take. 8.) Happy that my friend 'K' was there a couple times to deflect my feelings. 9.) I realized that I enjoyed focusing on work 110%. 10) Re: 'M', I don't know what to say. 11) The entanglement is too much for me. 12) I do enjoy her company when we talk about other things. When she mentions 'A', my stomach turns inside out. 13) Right now, I enjoy the distance and I enjoy my freedom from the crazy dynamics.
Laurie, I thank God that you are on the other side. Your wise words and encouragement have given my mind and my heart reason to breathe again.
