New Here-From Newcomers- hoping for more input...

[optimistwife]

I think Jody thought (and probably rightly so) that my contact would be seen as persuing him thru family- trying to get them to change him. She said that he needed for his family to be his safe people to talk to if he needed.

Well, I did call his parents adn brother initially, he was mad , and then I let it go. I guess we all do things those first few weeks that we wish we could go back and do better. Or redo our entire relationships

I am concerned that he was upset that she contacted me- I guess he feels that I should be cut off from them? My SIL said that she and her mother still consider me family- we are still married. That much is true!

I guess it has been over 3 months now- time to test the waters a bit. If it turns out bad I will back off. Sometimes I am afraid to try something new. But it does seem that sometimes small steps forward come from our rare confrontations. ( I am trying so hard to nix R talk and anything bad- yup- it's a fake life sometimes).