Thanks very much for your input. I have read the Five Love Languages book twice and am doing nice gestures for her (gifts) frequently. Receiving gifts is definitely her LL and I've been making a note of what she likes.
I've bought her flowers frequently, a few clothes the weekend before last when we were out shopping. I have observed that she loves me taking her out and about, being confident etc. so I have been doing this. On that afternoon when we got home we had very passionate sex. However, when we went for a walk afterwards she seemed a little guarded saying things like "I want to feel passionately in love before I move back into the room" etc.
Last night she slept in my bed and I gave her about an hour of massages and caresses. Then this morning as we left for Sydney I noticed that she had put her wedding ring on again. I playfully remarked about her looking "balanced" again and she said "it doesn't mean anything" - "don't got looking into things, I just like having a ring on both hands". I was hurt but didn't show it; I don't know whether it's serious, the demon of defence talking or joking - or just the mysterious way that women like to communicate with us guys sometimes. But the point is it's the third time I've seen her wear it in the last month or so and she wasn't doing it before. I would like to see this continue.
As for the confidence Phoenixdeux, as you can imagine it has been torn apart this year big time. I was once very confident and full of swagger - probably to a fault. I need to get this confidence back and am working at this. I know that my destiny is a happy one but I've never found it this hard to be confident and to do my job in sales.
This weekend we are chosing a birthday gift for W's sister and taking a trip to rural Australia to do some outdoor adventures. These things are good, but I wish I could feel more confident about this marriage.
Yesterday I read some journal entries from the days leading up to and immediately prior to separating and I was overcome with guilt for being such a neglectful, abusive and selfish husband back then. My W has put me through some unimaginable pain but for some reason I felt this crushing guilt.
Take care both of you.
GH31
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
