New Here-From Newcomers- hoping for more input...

[optimistwife]

Well, today was interesting. I'm moving past the shock of what I already knew deep inside- oh well- people talk and my H is the only one I need to care about (other than me).

Based on Jody's suggestion I stopped contacting H family 2 months ago. Since my birthday is this week- got a card from MIL, and SIL wrote on Facebook page to ask me to lunch.

Wrote a thank you letter back to MIL, told her I was hoping this would work out, Loved her son, working on myself. Hope we get to see eachother in future.

As far as sister in law, really debated this, but after talking to friend and mom, decided to since if thigs work out don't want to alientate my H family. Had last minute thought and told my H first that she asked me- turns out he already had told SIL that she was a sellout for wanting to see me- ug-. He told me that I could do what I wanted- didn't cared. I took that to mean I was darned if I did or didn't.

Decided to do lunch and had a nice time. OF course we talked about H! Can't avoid it, but I stayed positive, did not slam him, just let S know that I love him, am trying to give him space and support to make his decision, and hope for the opportunity to work things out. She can't understand- thinks he is shmuck? for doing this. But told her he is my H, I took vows, and despite this I love him still.

She wondered what to tell him- said she would say we just talked about work, pets, life, etc. I said don't lie- just tell him that I didn't trash talk him and that I said I care. May as well tell the truth. He wouldn't believe it if she said we didn't talk of him anyway.

He did call on my way home- I think to check up. I was positive, upbeat, told him what we did, that it was great to see her, she's doing well (just left her boyfriend of 5 years), moving on to hopefully a great guy (aren't they always in the beginning?).

He texted and called severel more times tonight, and just now to say goodnight (okay- I asked him to call before bed tonight), and had me preview his presentation for tomorrow. I was able to be cheerleader tonight.

I know talking with his family is very dangerous territory- could backfire. I know that they think his actions are not good- and they may tell him this. He is avoiding them for the most part. But maybe some good will come of it and our sitch.

He is not angry tonight- (no ILU's in 2 weeks either, but Oh well- I will take the one I got).

He may never turn around- but by gosh I am giving him every opportunity!