But there are lots of old homes around here so it is not unusual! In our last home, of 16 years, the well cap was definitely above ground and easy to find!
But I've seen well pipes hidden in gardens surrounded by shrubbery etc. and lots of other, let's say unique spots and not easy to find at all.
But I've seen well pipes hidden in gardens surrounded by shrubbery etc. and lots of other, let's say unique spots and not easy to find at all.
oh I understand that. I planted a tall grass like plant in front of mine...I can see them being hid above ground but don't know why it would be buried..some people never think ahead I guess..
So, got home to kids, sat and talked with D for an hour. She had a really hard morning. Poor babe hates school; asked if she could stay home and be homeschooled. She couldn't think of one thing to look forward to over the course of a whole day.
She is so afraid of getting yelled at. If a teacher yells at a student, or even the class as a whole. Brynne feels responsible, and bad. She has always tried to be good, and has often been commended for it and her quietness, her helpfulness to other kids, by all of her teachers. My heart broke for her this morning.
And x, he just says that she is tough. I wonder if he knows this little one at all, the one who always seems to "go with the flow" on the surface.
I spoke with the IC today. She wants me to call a meeting for D's teachers and maybe the guidance counselor right away. She said that I am aware, that I can see what most parents can't, or won't.
She also told me that she spoke with the kids' IC during the week. Their IC was mortified that I was unaware of the kids' appt last week, and that it was at the same time as my appt. She had no idea I was in the very next room, wondering what the he!! was going on. My IC went on to tell her some of the other passive-aggressive moves that x has pulled, so she can be a better IC to my kids.
My IC asked what I wanted to do about what had happened with the appt. I told her I am just going to ignore it. x stayed in the appt with both kids just about the whole time; in fact, I think he even sat with the IC alone for a little while. It might do him some good. And I can make appts for the kids on my own, where I let them go and talk with her alone, where they can really get things out and feel safe. I'll call tomorrow and set up an appt for each of the kids, since both acted out this past week (probably due to me not being at the wedding, the first major family gathering of everyone).
Then, we talked about the email. OT, she agreed with you about Monika and her intentions / motivations. And that it serves as a reminder that she is still dangerous, not to be trusted, a manipulator. Mike, she laughed at your suggestion to dip the suit in some dump-water!
I'm going to ignore that one, too. IC said, how will it look to x when he gets wind of his gf writing nasty emails to me, and I didn't go running to complain to him about it? That's if he ever finds out; I don't plan on talking about it to anyone who would pass it along. It is just so ridiculous. What a sad, pathetic looser.
I said something else in session today. I was secure in my R & M for more than 20 years. She will NEVER feel secure in theirs!!! How could she possibly? They deserve each other...
I heard AC/DC on the way home from work today: Back in Black.
I cranked it up as loud as I could stand it and sang along, with the wind in my hair and a smile on
I was secure in my R & M for more than 20 years. She will NEVER feel secure in theirs!!! How could she possibly? They deserve each other...
Donna, brilliantly put! I feel exactly the same way. I sometimes wonder if us LBS cycle together at times. Look at how many of us are now at the same point with this journey. As sad as it is, we have fianlly been driven to detach completely and let go of our WAS. There is a sence of freedom with that as well, along with the what if's. I am learning each day to no longer think of the what if's, just to be grateful for the what I haves!
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
I blew the day. It seems to be a pattern, and not one I want to keep up with. Just not sure how it got away from me so quickly (although I did hit the bank, but that is about it).
I wasn't even very thorough with the boards or online stuff. I didn't even survive today; just was.
I did get a call from a DB friend last night (thanks, K!). I hope I didn't get her down; there are still a few (maybe more than a few) things that can trigger some grieving. I was actually a little surprised at how emotional I got a few times, but that is because there was some looking back on my part. I noticed that I don't get wound up when I am looking forward, which is good.
Well, off to church in a bit, then to see my son race BMX.
The day was much more productive. Up and laundry, off to get some muffins for church (MIL & I hosted coffee), then services. I was so tired I think I almost fell asleep standing up! I didn't go to bed too late, so I must just not have slept very well.
Home and straightening. FIL came over to help me euthanize S's pet rat. The poor thing developed a rapid-growth cyst on her neck. S knew about it; we actually talked about it Thurs and Fri of last week. He was trying to figure out what to do - another loss for him, but in the end, he saw that holding onto her, even if we put her through surgery, would be more for him than her, so he finally asked me to take care of it while he was at his dad's.
I did get an email from x yesterday morning:
Quote:
so you hear it from me first and not the kids...i close on a house in town in a few weeks. they know and are excited. i also started the QDRO for the annuity money. it should take a few weeks to complete and will cost between 1000 and 1400. i will let you know when i have to give the lawer any money.
I responded with "Thanks for the heads-up." I think that was pretty neutral.
He emailed again later in the day after taking D to her follow-up Dr appt that she was clear of the ear infection and could get off the antibiotics. I replied that that was good news, she is sick of being sick.
The kids went with him and her with her clan to the homecoming parade yesterday, and today he took my kids with her one (the one friends with my D) out hiking.
This is going to be my kids' lives. And mine.
I'm not feeling any hostility (or, not very much) about the whole thing...more like, resigned. Defeated. There seems to be a very small line between acceptance and failure/defeat.
It feels like every day cements this more firmly in place. He is pushing forward, and I have to on my own.
More sadness...
I know that there is no statistical possibility that my family will be restored, that I will have a chance to build a new R with this man. We don't talk or interact at all, anymore. I know that I am standing at that door that I left open, if only a crack, straining to see him as he fades further and further into the distance.
He's not like so many of the WAS's here who screw up their lives immeasurably after a divorce. He will work hard to make this new family structure work. I think he will have a good life, despite how that R started. She and her kids will be better for it; he will be very good to them. And he will continue to be a good father to his kids. He isn't going to fall apart.
And all I can do is take the lessons I learned and try to move forward, myself. Into a new life, one that I make on my own. Letting go of the fantasy that he may be part of it with me, again someday. He won't.
I wonder if there will ever be a time when I am ok with all of this, how it all worked out. If I will ever not be sad or cry when I think of him...
