she's gone

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Puppy in the very very slight chance someone was in the house, they could he harmed or dead before the cops could be called. I was at work right down the road. I couldn't live with that on my conscience

Then keep doing what you're doing. You're enabling her, and she's yanking your chain. Good luck with that.

In my opinion, the emotional harm that she's causing herself, causing YOU, and causing your family, is far greater than the 1 out of a thousand chance that there was someone in that house. More like 1 out of TWO.

Puppy

[badcompany]

Please understand that is far easier for you to sit at your computer and give this advice than it is for me to do it. I'm in the middle of it. I don't want this anymore. This isn't living

[badcompany]

I do not want to talk to her or see her, but I have to. And when I'm short and to the point, and keep our talks about custody only, she'll ask if I'm mad, or if I'm ok. She will not catch on

[Puppy Dog Tails]

You forget that I lived it too. Everything I've recommended you do, I had to find the courage to nut up and do as well.

You don't get to "not want this", BC. It's here, whether you like it or not. The sooner you come to grips with that, and decide that the ONLY thing you can control is how you decide to deal with it, the better off you will be.

Goodnight.

Puppy

[maninmotion]

Oh BC, listen to PDT on this one. We ALL don't want this. Hell, I'm going to be filing for D and asking for sole custody of my kids and no maintenance for her and while her sub-conscious would be fine with that, her self-image is going to fight me tooth and nail on it. I REALLY REALLY DON'T WANT THIS TO BE HAPPENING. Your situation is worse than mine. I understand.

When I quit asking my W what she was doing and who she was doing it with, things got better. When I quit telling her what I was doing and who I was doing it with, things got better again. When I decided that my self-respect was more important than trying to keep together a marriage with someone who was treating me the way she has been treating me, things got pretty good.

Now, I don't care who she is sleeping with and where she is sleeping and if the guy in the truck next to me at the stoplight is sleeping with her. I'VE MOVED ON.

It took me a while and Sandi and PDT both had things to say to me that I'm coming back around to doing, but, I wasn't in a place to receive what they were saying back then.

You are going to have to do the same thing. You are here asking for advice and then not taking it. That's fine, but, you keep asking for more advice. The advice is the same. Let her experience the consequences of her actions and in the meantime, move on and get a life.

Just my $.02

Dan

[badcompany]

well i made it a tiny bit of the way so far MIM. I stopped asking who/what/where/when like 3 months ago....

also I stopped telling her who/what/where/when awhile ago too.

its that part about my self respect being more important than being married to an adulterer that i'm trying to resolve now.

thank you for the response to my sitch.

[badcompany]

if i can pull this off, i will be completely transformed. i've always cared what she said and took it to heart; my buttons are always pushed by her actions and words. I have got to stop NOW.

for real.

its been hard to take the advice because my problems with her keep getting worse of changing.

gotta do it though.

[runningoutoftime]

Turn off the cell phone, unplug your phone at home, and take some time for YOU. Emotionally unwind, go take a walk, relax at a coffee house... just do some things for you.

Put the phones back on at a later time, and talk with her when you feel you want to.


And if she asks, where you were or if you are mad just explain you were busy, the phone was off and you were taking a walk or doing something you enjoy. Life is GOOD!!! Go enjoy the darn sunset!!!!

[Sugar and Spice]

And if she asks, where you were or if you are mad just explain you were busy, the phone was off and you were taking a walk or doing something you enjoy. Life is GOOD!!! Go enjoy the darn sunset!!!!

Or don't explain. You don't owe her an explanation. Do what you have to do for you. Take care of yourself.

[badcompany]

ok she came to get my son and I left the room and left her a note. She's got the hint loud and clear