Hello dearest and wonderful friends !!! I always find such warmth and love here ! It is a special place and once again, very special people came by and gave me faith and love.
I needed that so much - THANK YOU !
I love you all so very very much !
I got overwhelmed with a horrible feeling just a little while ago. I suddenly got the feeling ow was pregnant. It made me shiver.
H is avoiding me. I heard him tell D9 to take the post with her - that means he won't be dropping by after school here tomorrow. I was going to make myself unavailable, maybe even not be home...but hearing that he chooses not to want to come over hit me hard. It shouldn't but it did.
I feel something is going on. He once promised we could be friends, yet it is a friendship that is disintergrating rapidly. I miss it. I miss him.
I want to write a letter and send it to him. Even if it's just to tell him how I feel....will it ruin everything ? Is it foolish to do so ?
Today in the car I was thinking about H, I asked God to give me a sign, then Michael Bublé came on the radio and sang 'HOME'...I wanted to believe that God was telling me H would come home, but deep down I know that I shouldn't read anything into it, that it was just chance.
I'm lost. Confused and bruised by all that has happened in my life these last few years.
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
