But what is HE doing? Is HE stepping up to the plate?
HE?
Not much except for providing for the Family. Sad but true. he is fully aware though that I may not have left but I am not going to stand by and take this anymore. I have the right and deserve to live too. He can drink and I will not be catering to him or trying to be perfect for him. I am human and I deserve to live too.
Last nite I somehow got stung by a BEE right before bed. I ran into our room and threw my pants off and was in a lot of pain. I had no idea it was a bee that bit me. It was dark. He was SCARED~
This morning he admitted he couldn't sleep and he was scared, he didnt know what had happened to me or if I was going to be ok, for a moment.
I dunno how but it stung me on my belly right where your ovaries are and on one side and I felt as though I was being torn open. When the pain subsided I noticed I had welts on my belly, then we turned on the light and figured out it was a BEE. It was the first time in a long time my H has been vulnerable and sweet to me. I cant wait to tell you one day S&A he is stepping up to the plate and he is trying. Believe me!
He did spend Sunday with us but for me it was bittersweet , cause he did it b/c he knew how angry and upset I was on Friday. Or so I think?
I'm being pretty laid back lately. My husband said yesterday that he thinks of me sometimes, after I asked if he misses me. Well, OK then. I also told him that I wished we could go out one more time before the divorce and he said, "If I feel like it, I'll call you." So, I'm feeling well wanted.
Anyways, just thought you'd like to know about where I am on the emotional scale. I would love to hear from you.
Ali, I'm not sure what to say other than you have been in my thoughts and prayers. You do deserve to live and you are such a special light in this world.
Today I am feeling better and I think that I am going to get better at living for me and being happy. With hubby along or not. He is actually trying very hard but still drinking. Just less. He is being gentler with me.
He even called today to get my POV on something and I almost broke down crying. He normally doesnt do this.
Still hoping for a Miracle but not waiting anymore. I deserve to live too~ Love, Alicia
Alicia, I think that there is hope for your H. He is trying and a big difference for him is that he has you.
I came back from the brink of disaster, but when I finally turned it around it was done all on my own, I had a withdrawn, depressed W (mostly caused by my own actions). Something inside me made me want to finally reach her somehow, to make her happy again. If she had been the one trying to reach out to me things might have been totally different. It was what I had wanted all along, for her to reconnect with me. For us though it had to come from me, I had to be the one to start our recovery.
For you the reaching out is coming from you. I can't say this enough, he is a very blessed man to have you Alicia. There must be a part of him that still sees that and knows that you have been trying so very hard to reach him.
Thanks Cinco... You are so sweet. I am doing well. A little under the weather, I got stung by a bee on my belly and now it s infected!~? And I am using my sons Apple to post on. I am not used to it... My laptop is old and freezes a lot... Anyway I hope you are doing well and I will update this weekend when I have more time. For now know that he is trying and even being a better Dad and that is huge for me and our family!!!!!!
Ali - You know a single bee can only sting you once. The stinger comes out and stays stuck in your skin along with the little sack pumping the venom into you. I bet you were stung by a wasp if you have multiple welts. Maybe you are having an allergic reaction. I worked with a guy that got stung by a yellow jacket wasp on his hand and he was so allergic we had to take him to the emergency room before he went into anaphylaxis (can cause breathing difficulties). His hand was severely swollen within minutes. If you have hives on your belly (or anywhere else) you could be having a reaction, just not as severe?
I've been stung on the back of my neck by yellow jackets so many different times, I've lost count. Thank goodness I'm not allergic. It still doesn't stop it from burning like fire when they do!
I am doing well... It will be better after homecoming is over with though.
I continue praying for your family. Surly his being touched by an angel like you Alicia will bring him around.
