You have been trying so hard to be "the good boy" for everyone else; the next stage is for you to find what you need for you. You have been working on that...and that focus will save you, keep you sane.
I do get the lingering death analogy, though. x didn't like it when I told him that this was worse than if he had died - he didn't get it, and thought that I was wishing that (well, I guess sometimes I did). Anyway, there isn't an ritual in our society to mark this passing. It surprised me, since so many seem to go through it, and it is so painful...
I've been thinking about that, myself. I have read where people have burned or buried a picture (like a funeral), others have written that last letter that never gets sent.... I think I am going to take my rings and make a new piece of jewelry with it. My D's birthstone is diamond (lucky girl), so I'll add a ruby for my S, and maybe some amethyst for me, and make a pendent. I'm hoping that I can get one in the shape of a butterfly, for my "transformation."
What plans and goals do you have for your transformation into the healing?
