Steady...I see our posts following a similar theme...normal everyday stuff, with maybe a little rant or vent thrown in for good measure. The vents and rants seemingly caused by our own lack of patience or perspective for the situation.
All of sudden I am realizing that the roller coaster has smoothed out quite a bit. Sunday was a good day with the festivals. Monday was work for me and she stayed home and cooked and cleaned...something I am seeing a little often on her days off, rather than looking for an excuse to get out for the day and not be home when I get there. Then again, Monday Night Football was on, and her new found interest keeps her close to home when there is a game on.
I think with the sitch the way it is now, I should be trying to put more effort into her love languages.....don't really have a handle on them yet, but I have thought a lot about it the last few days and I think without realizing maybe I have been doing a better job than I thought.
She went so many years without any words of affirmation or praise from me that I think when they come the "fake" light bulb goes off in her head sometimes. With all of the cooking she does, I always try to get compliments and appreciation in when I can. The times when we cook together, I let her lead rather than butt heads about ingredients and procedures like we used to do....this past weekend she asked me if I wanted, and then made, her special chicken wings and famous mac and cheese for us....Monday was meatloaf....more "comfort food".
The touching has progressed to a point where she has actually asked for certain things lately...foot or leg rub, lotion on her hands and arms, or back. The first few months I got many "you don't have to do that's", or "go ahead, if you want to. I can't refuse a foot rub". Now I just grab the lotion, go sit by her on the couch and start in...and get directions for certain spots, or a "ahh, that feels so good".
Yesterday I had planned to change the oil in her car, as a chore for the day...not an act of service.
She called in the morning to ask me to drop off something for her at work, and I told her I was going to switch cars to change the oil, and I asked her if she wanted lunch, so I made her up something from home and went to switch cars....got a nice sincere smile when I walked in and a big thank you when I left.
I changed the oil and decided to clean the car for her. That turned into a full blown afternoon detail job, top to bottom, inside and out....I dropped the car off with it looking and smelling great, gas and all the fluids filled....also picked her up an iced coffee on the way.
Left without saying a word about the car, and an hour later I got text.."Thank you. car looks great".
Last night when she got home I asked if she wanted to go out to dinner and she balked a little, but then said yes. I asked where and my suggestion was a favorite place of ours.....up to you she said....on the way I asked if she was sure about the choice...she said "I told you, it's up to you..I am letting you lead the way".
I laughed a little to myself when I heard that....not so sure who is leading the way right now.
Nice dinner....good conversation...nice ride and more conversation...home early and off to bed....together. No ML, nothing crazy...just a kiss good night and my arm around her as we fell asleep.
