I am so sad that the pain continues. I wish I (we) could know God's plan....and I DO believe He has one. It is such a paradox that the "one flesh" union of marriage hurts so deeply when it is "torn"....yet, we aren't supposed to meet our partner's EVERY need...nor should they meet OUR every need. There is a God-sized hole in our hearts that only He can fill. I know you have found comfort in prayer.....tonight my prayer is for an everlasting peace for you...and my continued prayers that your marriage be restored.
I miss you!
Praising God Daily, Remaining "FaithfulH" Me: 62 W: 62 D:33 S:30 & 31 Married: 40 Years BD: Sep 2006 Piecing: May 2007 2nd BD: May 2014 Working On It: Today
Hello dearest and wonderful friends !!! I always find such warmth and love here ! It is a special place and once again, very special people came by and gave me faith and love.
I needed that so much - THANK YOU !
I love you all so very very much !
I got overwhelmed with a horrible feeling just a little while ago. I suddenly got the feeling ow was pregnant. It made me shiver.
H is avoiding me. I heard him tell D9 to take the post with her - that means he won't be dropping by after school here tomorrow. I was going to make myself unavailable, maybe even not be home...but hearing that he chooses not to want to come over hit me hard. It shouldn't but it did.
I feel something is going on. He once promised we could be friends, yet it is a friendship that is disintergrating rapidly. I miss it. I miss him.
I want to write a letter and send it to him. Even if it's just to tell him how I feel....will it ruin everything ? Is it foolish to do so ?
Today in the car I was thinking about H, I asked God to give me a sign, then Michael Bublé came on the radio and sang 'HOME'...I wanted to believe that God was telling me H would come home, but deep down I know that I shouldn't read anything into it, that it was just chance.
I'm lost. Confused and bruised by all that has happened in my life these last few years.
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
We are beginning the hardest part of the year, the holidays. It will be hard on all of us whose spouses will be away from us.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Hugs Cinders! Please be patient and let God handle it. Keep your chin up and just be cool.
Gman Me 40 W 30 kids B 11 B 10 D 8 Been here off and on since 06. PA Confirmed Dec 08.. With God, anything is possible. Do or do not there is no try. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six...
Hey Cinders! Be patient and strong. What do you have planned for the weekend? DO something fun!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I'm sorry you are hurting so much. I remember when my H first started not giving me a hug when he left. It felt like I had the plague or something. I never realised how much for granted we take physical touch until then.
Now my H doesn't even come down the drive of our house when he picks D13 up. He justs gets his mobile phone out and calls to say he has arrived. You'd think we were pure enemies. I know though that it is his guilt eating away at him.
Please be kind to yourself. If it hurts, let it. IMO that is the only way to get past these feelings. If you don't allow yourself to feel them they will always be there. It took me a very long time to realise that but now that I have I feel calmer and more at peace with my sitch.
Take care
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Cinders .. I can empathise with a lot you have written here ..
My H is becoming more and more distant .. however unlike you I see this as a positive rather than a negative.
When my H first met OW, he was full of himself, like your H wanted us to be friends with me.. and for us all to get along … He would make any excuse to come to the door, phone me, text me just to let me know how happy he was.
Does he do it now? NO.
He hardly contacts me at all. Is that cos he is all loved up with OW? I don’t think so.
They are spending less time together. He is working more Son hasn’t mentioned her texting or phoning like he used to.
Also; I have had no child maintenance for 2 months. My H has no money. (Gambling again no doubt. ) He is working all of the hours god sends to get enough money together to pay me.
His behaviour; his body language say one thing. NOT HAPPY!
So maybe your H is avoiding you cos he is starting to realise what he has lost. Maybe he is ashamed? Maybe it hurts to be reminded what he had. Maybe he’s waking up.
I understand that your H does not have a gambling problem so there are differences, but think about it .. during the honeymoon period of the R with OW he was happy to be around you. 2 years down the line when the honeymoon period has more than likely worn off he is distancing himself from you … Things are changing, it may not be for the reasons you think!!
Nutty
Last edited by Nutty Chick; 10/02/0805:16 PM.
Be The Greener Grass.
Me 40 H 42 Son 11 Married 15 years. Left May 2006 after gambling spree I had EA August 2006 OW Aug 07 after another gambling spree (she will make me happy - stop me gambling!) I filed for divorce 9th April 2008.
I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO want to believe that it may be for those reasons that he is changing....
He did look tired today...was wearing an old sweater with holes ! (weird for a day at the office...)but I had stopped looking at how he looks nowadays...
Oh well, it's like the other's have said, I must leave this up to God and HE will have His plan !
I had a good day on the whole, did lots in the house, saw some friends and H even dropped by, whilst I thought he wouldn't...
I'm off to bed early as I still have a cold...
THANK YOU ALL for your amazing grace and kindness towards me.
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Cinders .. I can empathise with a lot you have written here ..
My H is becoming more and more distant .. however unlike you I see this as a positive rather than a negative.
When my H first met OW, he was full of himself, like your H wanted us to be friends with me.. and for us all to get along … He would make any excuse to come to the door, phone me, text me just to let me know how happy he was.
Does he do it now? NO.
He hardly contacts me at all. Is that cos he is all loved up with OW? I don’t think so.
You know Nutty, that really makes sense to me. My H use to call me and text me and all that stuff when he was with the OW. Maybe it was just to let me know how happy he seemed to be. That life was good.
NOW? no. He isnt with the OW anymore. She dumped him. He hardly calls or texts anymore. Acts distant to me. Always seems down and has alot of down days. BUT his excuse to me is that he has just changed. That is why he is acting all different over the last few weeks. I think he is depressed and just avoiding it.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
