Do Something DIFFERENT

[Laurie]

Dear JoJo,
You got a call from A? OK, you want that to keep happening, right? It sounds that you offered the best response you could in a voicemail. That let's him know you will respond to his initiations.

So, this was the kind of step you were hoping for, right? Even though this is a good step, I hear your emotions get pulled down after getting the message and returning a voicemail back. So I really encourge you to go back to the great list you just wrote out on this BB to refresh your focus and continue to do those things that help.

This balance of putting more focus on making your life better, responding when he initiates, and avoiding the temptation to pursue him more than he is pursuing you, will take time. This is a habit change for you and there's more "break-in" time needed for this habit to become a bit easier. But the old habits of being predictably always available weren't working, so I admire you for trying something different!

And, if your distancing from M seems to be helping with A - then there is value for more than one reason to continue some distance there. Also, it sounds as if you may need to rethink how to address the A talk you get from her. Any ideas how you would like to deal with that?

And, I am sorry, but I am actually going more west today for a few days. But, I'll be back!

Hugs to you JoJo!