Anyway- last night I hit the breaking point. Hearing about JeninVen's husband really shook me- and I didn't even know her. It is just the finality and sudden changes that could happen to anyone-.
Talked to my main phone friend who has been with me from the beginning. Somehow it came up that that a colleague 2 states away heard about my H and I back in July from people at my H university (likely faculty). For some reason this just kills me! Our R was/is the gossip (any profession is a small community).
The various aspects- one- people see my husband as a cheater- the guy who left his wife for another student. Most of the people at his Univ. know me as I did several years post grad there. It kills me that the man who I love most looks like a [censored].
It also makes me feel like the stupid wife on the otherside.
I believe my H is oblivious to the impact this is/will have on his career. He still has to get letters of recommendation to go on to further jobs, internships- from people who will know what he has done.
H is super critical of people who are crappy to their sig others- does he not see that others may be of him?
This whole thing may impact his ability to get the best job or anything based on peoples opinion of him. That hurts me because i want to be with him in the future- and I want him to succeed! I want him to have the best internship- best job- I want people to see him the way I once did- as a Handsome, Smart, funny man with high standards and virtues.
I don't think that is what anyone is thinking of him these days!
For these reasons I just feel like a huge fool and feel like pulling the plug. I am sick of being at the bottom of his pile.
Ug. I just really feel like being done with him.
Me-36 H-30 T-7yr, M-3yr DivorceBusting Saved my marriage! sep 6-08 to 12-08. Together again, things are good!
