Please help me to not give up............

[grant]

Well, my last post wasn't terribly positive. It's been a tough couple of days with our 19th anniversary yesterday. It just happened to coincide with my telling her that I was going to get legal advice, and lead to the talk about OM. She's still going with the "this has nothing to do with him" stance, but says it's over. I still have doubt in my mind whether it is, and if she is still hoping that will work out for her. But she knows now that I am moving to a slightly different perspective.

After a talk, I realised that her not filing for D herself up to this point, was not because she held out any hope for our marriage, but only because she wanted sufficient time for us all to get used to the idea. She has this thought that it will be nice and easy and amicable, and we will drop the D bomb when we get to the point that we and the kids are somehow comfortable with the idea???

Am I wrong to think that idea is untenable? I know where she is coming from, but it does seem unreasonable to me to think that somehow going through the process of divorce and the lead up to it could be "comfortable".

In any case, I guess I keep going with the flow, trying to detatch, and hold on to the best DR solutions I can.

Not feeling quite so worthless today, but not sure why.........