you can hit me with a 2x4 anytime. About the eggshell part, I was mainly referring to me not being about to bring up the relationship topic or tell her how I feel. I still miss her badly at night (although I am starting to have more "normal" nights - but its still tough). Other than the relationship topic, I do feel like I can talk to my ex about most topics.
That said, I agree with your point about my daughter having three men in her life - that definitely isn't stability for me. But I feel like I have no choice in the matter but to deal with the situation I'm dealt with. In the very beginning, when my ex started to talk about buying a house with her friend, I protested with her to not do it and tried to justify my reasons to her. I only pushed her away. Now she has gotten to a point where she asks me about my opinion about the housing situation - but she still feels like buying the house with her friend is the only solution. Looking at her finances today, I can tell you for sure that she couldn't get a place on her own. In fact, her friend will be paying something like 80% of the mortgage/bills. But she is starting to tell me that she is looking at this more of an investment rather than a long term solution - but who knows. Today she was telling me that she wish she could get something on her own but she just can't afford it and feels like she can't provide for our own daughter to put a roof over her head.
I am trying to validate her feelings without supporting her justifications. I guess there is a thin line between the two. I don't think she is trying make me into a doormat, but it is hard not to feel like one sometimes - but nothing she is necessarily doing. For example, today she told me that she feels like she has no where to run to and I so desperately wanted to tell her that she could run to me. So statements like that do remind me of what I did, but it is not because she is driving the issue or trying to remind me of what I did.
Lodo, anything you say is useful. I'm still exercising.
