Why must everything hinge on the birth and paternity of this child? Why are you settling for that? Why are you continuing to give him the emotional support he wants when he is willing to give nothing to you in return? Sticking YOU - YOUR M TO HIM - on the back burner because it's how he sees fit.
I wish I could answer this, but I can't. These are not my choices, they are his and he will have to live with those choices.
Yes, I agree that they are clearly his choices. However, you are living with them as well, and you're stuck. All because H wants to wait. All because he wants to see what's going to happen with this baby. Therefore, you get put on hold. And by continuing to be there for him emotionally, answering his calls and texts, being so available to him, you're merely adding stability to the triangle. His poor choices are being ok'ed. Your words may say different, but your actions are telling him that you are going nowhere. Nothing will change as long as he's not allowed to miss you. To not know what it's like to not have you there at his leisure.
It's what I've done all along in my own sitch, and it is a HARD habit to break, I know. I really do. But you must know that you deserve better than this. You are worth so much more. You, your children, and your M do NOT deserve to come second to anyone.
Quote:
I really have no expectations either way. Yesterday I let my emotions and nostalgia get the better of me. I'm not even sure it was him that was messing with my head, more than it was me. I'm my own worst enemy in this.
So be your bestest friend, love.
You have more power over this than you think. H should not get to call the shots. I'm not saying you have control over him or that you should try to control his decisions. Just saying you have all the power you need to get yourself out of this holding pattern, given that's something you want.
(((((((Corey)))))))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
