I did read the paper that your D wrote. She is very smart. People think that kids aren't affected by what goes on with MLC, they are so very wrong. I hope she reads it to her father!
We ahd a wonderful weekend with GD! I swear she has grown a foot in 6 months. H goes on vacation on Sunday so we might go to Colorado. My dad has to have blockages removed from the veins in his neck. It depends when they do it. I really would like to see my parents since it has been over a years since they were here. I think it would do us good to get out of town for a week or so. I have mixed emotions though because the last time we were in Colorado is when I found out about the OW.....
I hope you have a great time in Colorado. I love the Rocky Mountains there.
I just wanted to let you know this. You were right about my H contacting again after the moving on speech. He asked to stop by a week ago and stayed over, after almost 3 months of the speech. Even though he did bring the boys over twice during that time, I thought he'd never drop by alone. But God is good...., as usual.
I wanted to write and thank you again for always being there for me...you truly are helping me survive...
Today I sat at work thinking....and thinking way too much I might add.Why do I miss him so bad....and then I get angry...angry at what he's left behind....I love him doesnt he know that....I would do anything for him...ANYTHING....why would someone want to give that up...but I guess all fairy tales don't end in happiness....HHHHUUUHHHHH........I'm crying right now...I thought I was getting stronger...I thought I was living....trying to move on without H....but it sneaks up on you like a cold and settles in...then boom....you are sad all over again....I have knots in my stomach...thinking that I may never be close to him again...that I may never make love to him again...and then the text from D16 came...
My D16...still recovering from surgery...texted me today and said she missed our family and missed her dad....I was crushed all over again....I apologized to her again...told her I missed dad and our family also....that I still loved her dad....and here is what she told me...let me tell you she is so SMART!!
She said, "Showing him that we are the bigger people will make him fall that much sooner and then he'll realize we wont be there anymore.. we have more than he'll ever have and that is reason to be happy in itself...
She also told me to quit apologizing...we had no control over it even though we tried... "mom, please don't cry anymore...instead laugh....call a friend and laugh....every moment you spend sad or upset is just a moment of happiness you'll never get back"..
I said....how did you become so smart...."I think you get that from me"...
And she responded..."Obviously"
She is the messenger I believe....I believe God is speaking to me through her....some of the things she comes up with amaze me...what a blessing....
Sorry for the long post but I had to get it off my chest....
(((Hugs)))
Last edited by Treese; 10/02/0809:52 PM.
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
YellowRose, My thoughts on reconciliation tend to change with the wind. Your thread is always so uplifting, thank you for that.
Treese, What an amazing young woman you have raised. I'm about to walk out the door, but I will check out your thread and read your DD's paper. I'm sure it's very eye opening.
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
"Out of the mouth of babes." Isn't that the truth. They see things that we don't. Your D wants to see you happy. I know how hard it is to get over that hump and TRY to move on like they are not coming home. Honestly, I didn't stop crying until the end of my h's MLC. It did get less and less over time but it still happened. I found myself starting to laugh and smile again. As we all said before, we don't know if they are coming back, only God knows. Keep working on yourself and take care of your babies. Remember they notice things and hate to see you sad and hurting.
I too changed like the wind in regards to reconcilation. I would think, do I want him back after all the hurt? I had gotten used to being by myself and doing everything myself. I had become very independent! In the long run it was all worth giving it a second chance with my h. We have such a great M now!!!
