...and I think there's some value in making H "work for it." He's turned my life upside down and permanently scarred D's life, and it's inappropriate for him to be able to just waltz away and have everything he wants just because he wants it. I don't know everything that's gone on, but it seems to me that there have been precious few repercussions for H's behavior. I have tried not to focus on that, sometimes more successfully than others. But this is so fundamentally and foundationally selfish and evil that it just shouldn't be so damn easy to do. I'm afraid that if I just went along and got it behind me as quickly as possible, I'd feel later like I had rolled over. And I promised D from the beginning that I'd do whatever I could to keep this family intact. Unfortunately that's beyond my power, but at least I don't have to make it easy--or simple. I won't do things out of spite or revenge, but I will make sure we're provided for.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Guys, I think I'm going to have to re-home a dog and it breaks my heart for D. But I am waaayy past the end of my rope with this animal. We have 4 dogs, ranging in age from 16+ to 2 years. Yes, it's crazy and it's too many, but there we have it. D got a puppy for Christmas (a month early) 2 years ago, and it was a serious mistake. She loves him, but he's not normal. He's still not housebroken, he can't be trusted so he gets crated whenever we're away, has to go out on a stake. He just seems incapable of being trained; I had a dog like that once, had poor nutrition as a puppy and was not too bright and perpetually distracted by food, even though he had plenty. Anyway, back to the present--last evening I heard a big crash and the damn dog had busted through a window to chase a cat. Didn't break the glass, but bent up the vinyl part. D absolutely freaks out when one of the dogs gets loose--especially this one, because he's extremely hard to catch. It took us over an hour to get him, then I had to repair the window so the other dogs couldn't get out--it was the entire evening. And he keeps going back near that window, so he's now living in his crate. I don't know how to train this dog (and I used to do so competitively) and I don't know how to keep him from busting through windows. And I can't have this drama every night, and neither can D. I really really really don't want to give her one more loss in her life right now, but the next time he busts out he could run out on a nearby busy street and get hit by a car. Any ideas??!!
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
He's a mix; my guess is mostly german shorthair pointer. H would not take him; it's doubtful he'd even take one of the less troublesome dogs. Do they make medicine for canine ADHD?
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Oh Hoosier, I am sorry you have something else to deal with. I am sure you know crating and tethering is not the solution to your dogs problems and in fact will add to them. Others may be better able to deal with his behavioural problems, I am sure someone could help him(not sure of sex) most problems can be cured with love and lots and lots of time. He might be happier in a home with only him as a pet. As you have other animals maybe daughter will be better able to part with him when she knows it will be best for the dog. Pointers are working dogs by nature and need lots of exercise and stimulation to prevent destructive and anti social behaviour.
I remember when I was going through my "troubles" how it seemed to be one thing after another and everything was magnified because I had to deal with it alone. I hope this problem can be resolved to the benefit of all concerned. Take care.
Yes, it does seem that everything is happening badly at once. And/or I'm less able to cope.
I watched the Dog Whisperer tonite (in-between a hundred other things), hoping for some inspiration. Didn't get any.
Had IC this evening. She thinks I'm doing well under the circumstances. She told me to get ready for "game on" with the divorce. I see my lawyer tomorrow; the fun never ends.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Oh, and I got an email from my boss; no one told me before that there are meetings every Thursday at 7 am for school nurses. I don't have a way to get D to school on those days; H will be living across town and it will be too much of an incovenience for him to drive across town, pick her up and take her to school, then drive back to midtown to his job. Oh, come on now--can something go smoothly without complications?
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
