W is initiating things and wants you to go, this is a good sign. I know you want to talk about everything, but to be honest it's not going to happen yet. I think your R with W will need to grow stronger before she opens up.
It seems to me the W may want to be "friends" for self serving reasons. During these "meetings" H wants a mind read or an R talk but W wants to "split assets"; telling her the L's will work on that antagonizes her; acting "as-if" you're happy and moving on either makes her feel unloved or reduces her guilt feelings so she feels what she's done is the right thing; so then she either backs off from these "meetings" or they get unpleasant for one or both.
