Whatdidido writes: Jeff Thanks for your words on h4h's thread. I don't know if I am helping people as much as helping myself. To hear their pain helps me be more understanding to my H and his feelings.

I'm sure this site helps people in different ways, it both helps and hurts me, and I've always been conflicted about coming here. It helps me to post my thoughts and get feedback from such great people, but it's also a place of pain and a constant reminder of what I've been through. I see so many new people come to this site and I see the pain from the people I've come to know and I don't want them to hurt anymore.

Whatdidido writes You, are hanging in there. I love how you have totally focused on your kids and being a father and yourself. You are smart to be waiting to date. Also, smart to be thinking about it. I think thinking about it is really the first step.

I know I can do better; I need to get my head straight and start working more on myself and doing more for the kids. My house is not in order (euphemism) so it's not time to invite guest over. I know this but it hurts because I crave companionship, the touch of a woman again, wow - hanging around with the guys just isn't the same.

Thanks whwtdidido for the kind words I agree that my W is sooo lost, and I have continued to pray for her and everyone here

Update on how such a crappy 2008 I'm having I work for Wachovia (I'll be ok) NEW YORK (Reuters) - Citigroup Inc agreed to buy Wachovia Corp's banking operations, rescuing a major lender felled by bad mortgages amid turmoil in global credit markets. The $2.16 billion all-stock transaction was brokered by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. U.S. Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke said it would foster financial stability.

Something weird, W called and her best friend (on 3rd husband) brother had his W walk out on him after 13 years, W said he was browbeaten, his W was domineering and she left with the kids. The guy is falling apart and W wants me to send her girlfriend a copy of what I composed for W and my D settlement. My 8 page type written statement of the conditions I would agree to in our D, so this guy will know what his rights are. I'm not going to send the exact copy, but I will send her something and advise that this guy get a L and see a C asap.

I can't just keep swimming, I need to get working on myself and do better job with the kids (I know I can do better)

W41
M10.75 years
D9, D6, D6, S5
OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me
WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08
W files for D 07/18/08
Date I'll forgive W for A = never