S was home sick yesterday w/asthma. This morning he was complaining about his belly hurting. I sent him anyway b/c he had no fever and I thought he was playing hooky so he could stay home and play...
We had staff meetings for 2 hrs this morning, so school started at 10. At 9:45 daycare called that S6 was throwing up on the way to the bus line and I needed to come get him. So I told the office I was taking another sick day and left school at 10. I called and told FIL and my mom just for FYI purposes since they had both called earlier to check on him...FIL said he'd be out mowing but S could come there any lay down on his couch so I could go back to work. I said no need, I already took a day.
H called me back, I had left him a message. He asked why S wasn't just going to FILs (his dad's). I said, I already took a day off, so it doesn't matter. I get 10 paid sick days a school year. He said, yes but this is the second one and it is only September, why WOULDN'T you have my dad watch him?
I said, bc I already told the office I would do it, your dad can do it tomorrow if he is still sick then...H sounded super pissed and said I could just do whatever I wanted. He gets SO annoyed when I don't do things his way. To him it means I don't respect him if I don't take his advice 100% of the time...
I said, I don't know why you are so angry (I stayed "no emotion" about it which seemed to irritate him more), I made a decision. He said, "Well you didn't THINK". That is so irritating. I DID think. I KNEW FIL had made the offer. I just CHOSE to stay home myself. I get H's point, I may need some of those sick days later in the year and part of moving home was to have family support. But I had already made the decision and he could care less...
So I got off the phone. I hate being in a fight so I just called FIL and told him I would bring S out, then I called school and said I'd be back at 11. So, grr! Now I am super mad at MYSELF for caving to H. He wants me to be all strong and independent and self-assured, except/unless/until he wants me to do what HE wants me to do. WTF??? If I had called and asked him what to do, he would have said that I was a big girl and should be able to figure it out myself. But since I made a decision that was not the one he would have made, it was wrong of me to think for myself??
This is what I mean about being able to be "safe" in the knowledge that we are going to be married, regardless of what comes our way. Commitment means we don't get so pissy about such random stuff. I need to be able to agree to disagree without it meaning I don't love him, trust him, respect him, etc. And he needs to know that I can make decisions that are different from ones he would make, but it doesn't make me "wrong"....
