2 steps forward, 3 back

[HSSweetheart]

Spent a nice day in the pool today. Went to a picnic tomorrow. Day was fine yesterday until D8 wanted to say good morning to H. When he called, she asked about the GF and he said she is right here (in bed w/him at his father's!!!) and put her on the phone. Set me off for the whole day, I was a wreck. My f-i-l had told me he didn't allow her to stay over, but obviously that has changed. So I didn't let it ruin my day but it was a setback. It really hurts. I would have been fine if they hadn't called, but what can I say to them? Next time I am going to leave the room. I'd rather be in the dark, know what I mean?

[HSSweetheart]

(I mean yesterday, not tomorrow-DUH)

[HSSweetheart]

Just have a quick moment to post. H came over Saturday and took a truckload of his stuff. He mentioned the GF in conversation. I have a male friend and obviously the kids mentioned him. He implied a connection, which I told him was not there. I told him after having Prince Charming where could you go? He though that was hysterican.Couldn't see the difference in the pile.

Sunday he came over unannounced and I asked him to let me know if he was coming early to get the kids. I got mad because he got a call and got excited and would not tell me the news, but whispered it to my son. Not in my house! He finally told me as he was leaving that his father would be away from the house another day. Like a 17 yr old when dad is away.

Yesterday he called me at work. Apparently he got his first Lawyer bill - $1,200. Told me he cannot pay me anything this month. He was going to help pay for my new oil tank. Says he can't keep paying me, will help when he can. Doesn't know if the mortgage company will come after him he says or the house will forclose. I said I will never let that happen. Asked me if I was going to settle the D or what. I tried to be evasive and said I had much work to do. He asked what work? Just give me a figure. I am not! And I am not rushing it. But not telling him that. Not discussing it. Just said I would be fair to him if he continued to be fair to me. He said he would help me around the house where he could, that people had questioned why he was. I said we didn't have to be enemies because of this. When I got home later the garage was almost emptied out! I wonder if because he isn't paying mortgage he feels his stuff has no right to be there. It has been a year and now he is moving it out.

[cat03]

boy, he sure acts his shoe size!

i'm glad you are not giving in nor rushing, don't give away anything!

hugs & prayers your way)))))))))))) hope you get the house problem solved

[HSSweetheart]

Wow, love the hugs! The kids are off today and tomorrow from school. Took today off and have a friend watching them tomorrow. H apparently told S12 that he could just stay with his pop-pop today without telling me. Not sure how I should address it with him. Really annoyed me. D8 stayed over last night otherwise my day off would have been wasted if they both stayed over there. Communication would help, know what I mean?

I compromised Sunday and let him have our DVD burner since he is leaving some other stuff. He was miserable rehooking up the other dvd player to the tv. I left the room. I had to urge to rub his shoulders but curbed it.

[HSSweetheart]

P.S. I replied to a text of his and asked him to check with me before letting S12 stay home for the day. He replied that no one checked with him when D8 stayed with me last night. I replied that she told me she asked him and he said it was ok. I asked that he bring both of them over at normal time tomorrow morning. He didn't reply. I tried not to sound demanding or mean. A friend said instead of the word "check" I could have said inform me. That would have been better. Next time.

[HSSweetheart]

Yesterday would have been my 20 yr wedding anniversary. I dressed up for the occasion. All in all I survived the day pretty well. Today is exactly one year since he moved out. I think today will be the harder day of the two. But I am going to work and acting as if it was any other day.

[HSSweetheart]

Thurs I had to pick up the kids from him. When I pulled up the GF was cuddling on his shoulder on the front bench so I turned my head. He then knocked on my window. He began pressuring me about the D. Asked again if I was contesting it. When was I going to sign it. I kept saying I choose not to speak about it. I'm not ready to talk about it, etc. He kept pushing. I said again I would be fair. Says his lawyer wants to know. I said it took 5 yrs to get married, a divorce doesn't happen overnight. He kept repeating that he gave me a year. It was the 1 yr anniversary of when he left last year, I'm sure he knew it. So he asked me if I could aford to refinance. I said I didn't know so he was angry and said all bets were off. No deals. He said I don't care what happens to you. I said that was obvious and sped away. Now I am making other arrangements so that I no longer have to pick them up at his house on Thursdays to avoid seeing them as well as confrontation, I am tired of being pushed.

[HSSweetheart]

He picked up S12 on Sunday. My male friend was here so he didn't say anything about the D. Was singing and happy. I think if he comes I need a buffer, someone else here. Of course he will just call me at work to discuss things. I am not discussing anything.

[HSSweetheart]

H keeps pushing about the D. Tried 2 weeks ago to push in his driveway. I was very upset. Then called the next day to apologize and again started on it, using the kids as his angle. That they must feel like they are in transition. Then he texted yesterday using a male friend I have as leverage. He thinks I am dating but I am not. So today I usually have to pick up the kids from him but I made arrangements for a friend to come over after school so I would not have to. I don't want to discuss it with him.