Trying2live- the new post 1

[hope3343]

{{{{{group hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Well hello new thread. I am not the brave DBer these past couple days. I am crying, sniffling, crying. H leaves wednesday, and I am falling apart. it is so stupid that he is leaving. Leaving us. He has been sad but still leaving. It makes no sense, why won't he stay and work on this. Also I asked him to watch D on friday since I was invited out with some new friends to go watch an Irish band (GAL), and H tells me I can't because I am going away Friday night to saturday by myself to get away. So I say well why would you need to get away since you are moving anyway? I started crying saying you must be going away to celebrate leaving me. What a mess I am.
As far as exposure, I do think that it has tainted the A a bit. H knows both of his Ds will never accept the OW under any circumstance. H asked me again what his SIL said. I told him, I told her the truth. He is worried. I am praying it will put some pressure on OW and maybe they will start fighting. I can only hope. So my friends, I will be on my own starting Wed. Can't imagine. As I type this H is working in the garage re-arranging things and putting furniture back out after the bad weather. I think he is appeasing his guilt doing man things.

Now T2L, I guess it is a man thing wanting to do stuff. I am glad you told H thank you. I agree with much you say about showing how it would be if you got D'd and letting H see. I think that is a good 180. These OW are really driving us all crazy. Soon things have to start cracking with them. You know how it is in the beginning a new R, so nice and wonderful then that first fight comes. That is what I am waiting for. I tried to put a few chips into the relationship with things that I said (such as losing your job with this R), just enough to make H worry, so I hope the OW starts feeling some of this pain also. Also I notice that your H is starting to be around more and being more active. I would take this as a positive.

Marisol, you have been stronger and stronger every day. You are doing well. It is difficult just trying to change things ourselves. Sometimes it gets overwhelming hanging on. I have to tell myself the faster H gets out on his own, the faster he will return. Look it is already over a month with your H's A. There will be some problems popping up soon. It is the nature of a 21 year old to have drama in their live. Be patient. I also love the hedge of thorns. What a great prayer. Even though I am being so emotional these last 2 days, I am preparing for when H leaves what i am going to do. Remember goals -- I am going to make a game room for d instead of our messy office. I am going to put some new pictures up and go through old pictures. I want the house to look great so H will have regrets.
baby steps girls.