God give me the patience and the strength...7

[theotherhalf]

I applaud you in that you have remained so incredibly devoted to your husband and marriage through ALL of his indiscretions.

I don't know if I deserve to be applauded or to be locked up some where. Sometimes I think I've trully lost my mind to not have filed for D a long time ago. I have asked myself so many many times what the h*ll am I still doing here?

Hell no one here on this board can even see any positives in my sitch. He just keeps on keeping on and I just keep taking it.

But now he has done something that has caused YOU to feel like LESS of a person.

He has done this over and over again, and still I exuse it with MLC. Keep believing that with love, faith, and time, he will come out of this.

It's been a year and 5 months and although there has been many improvements, we are still no closer to R. In the meantime I cry for him almost daily, sometimes less. I am doing my dambest to go forward with my life. I get through each day one step at a time. Somehow keeping my head up and making the best of things. I am GALing but with H still in it. I am making the changes that I know need made. I am searching daily for the woman I am supposed to be. I try to find the joys of life every day. I am making the best life I can with what I got for my girls.

Yet still, at the end of everyday, I am alone and I hate it. I miss my H so very much. And every night when I climb into bed I long to have him here with me. He is the last thing I think of and the first when I wake.

NEVER talk yourself out of what you truly feel inside.

This Bill is what gets me into so much trouble.

Once again your here when I really need someone to talk to. And again I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You really are a special guy. Thank you Bill.

TOH