Maybe he is testing the waters to see if you would take him back? How is he doing with the gambling problem? I would keep the focus on you but see if his actions are following his words.
kat
Yeah, I've read that they do that sometimes and see what your reaction is and maybe you should try to react calmly and positively as you can although I know that messes with your head. I've always felt that if the baby isn't his, he'll be on your doorstep asap. In a way, I guess he wants to do the honorable thing, but I just don't think that will work out even if he tried. Sorry, I've got a flu or something so I'm rambling!!! Karen
Thanks guys. I'm doing ok. DS is getting better, but is still really bummed out about not being able to play.
I'm SO CONFUSED about H. His ambivalence and his need to "do the right thing" where she is concerned but not where we are just blows my mind.
Just when I seem to get it together, this kind of stuff happens again and I'm back to square one. I just don't get it....
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I got the same thing from my STBXH. I can't cheat on OW (yeah, glad that was so important to you the months before). We (H and OW) have been together long enough that I owe it to her (but our 7 years obviously means $h!t). The only way it makes sense is as a desperate desire to be the better person now in order to reduce their guilt.
It really does drag us for a roller-coaster ride though sometimes.
((((((Corey))))))
Hang in there.
And maybe plan on coming up to Sac for New Year's...NikB's H is already talking a party....
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I got the same thing from my STBXH. I can't cheat on OW (yeah, glad that was so important to you the months before). We (H and OW) have been together long enough that I owe it to her (but our 7 years obviously means $h!t). The only way it makes sense is as a desperate desire to be the better person now in order to reduce their guilt.
Odd thing is, he hasn't been faithful to the Troll at all, not from day 1. I just don't understand his sense of obligation to her and this child? Does he just not see the damage he is doing to his own, especially my daughter by doing this? I also don't understand why he would continue on this way when he says he won't raise a child that isn't his? It just really doesn't make any sense. In the meantime, my children pay for his sense of duty and obligation...WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
That's just it though. I think what I was getting at with your stitch (by comparing it to mine) was that maybe he feels guilty for walking away from his kids, so if this kid is his he needs to be there for it to assuage his guilt.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
That's just it though. I think what I was getting at with your stitch (by comparing it to mine) was that maybe he feels guilty for walking away from his kids, so if this kid is his he needs to be there for it to assuage his guilt.
The way you put it makes sense...how sick is that? I don't get it. I guess she sent him a text asking him what he would do with the baby if she died (I should be so lucky) and he said he didn't know. Then she said she wouldn't want the baby and her D13 separated. He thinks that means she would want them to stay with her parents and I see it as she would want him to raise both of them, or am I just crazy?
I wish she'd just give birth so we could move on to the next round of drama. You know?
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
It sounds like Troll just asks these stupid questions of your H to grasp for attention. She's asking to see if he'd care if she wasn't here (if she died). And she's asking if he'd help care for 2 kids that aren't his. She's nuts!
A lady here that works in another Department than I do just had a baby and brought her in to show her off. I was at the counter, putting some stuff together and could hear the baby making noises, so of course I went to see her. I don't know what happened... I just started crying. I'm tearing up right now thinking about it. It was totally obvious I was crying and I just mumbled something, turned around and fled the building. I called H, because I really didn't have anyone else to talk to. He was nice about it and said I shouldn't be so hard on myself. It really caught me off guard.
This is the song that my H said reminds him of us...what the hell is that supposed to mean? This confuses me more.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
