By expressing anger about this (calling her "damn wife"), and asking her why she didn't invite you, it makes it sound like you did expect her to invite you, or were disappointed she didn't. You continue to have very strong emotional reactions to her.
This indicates you aren't emoitonally detaching. Having an emotional reaction to all this will kill off any chance of reconciliation. If you don't detach, by the time she does come out of this, you will be too angry and bitter with her to ever reconcile.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
