If, and only if, you want to get your spouse back, DB principles tell you not to get angry, remain attractive, etc.
This does not mean that this is normal behavior. DB-ing is partly save yourself, partly mess with their head with counter-intuitive detachment.
The moral reality of the situation is that your H seems to think that moving out, sleeping with his secretary and humiliating you and your daughters is acceptable, while you being angry about it not. It's insanity.
The balance of power is still in his favor and he doesn't seem to have changed a whole lot. It's still asking you to "prove" you've changed, etc.
I think, at this point, stating your terms in writing with clarity and dignity is the best thing. State what you will do if he doesn't comply with them: you will proceed with the divorce. It's what Michelle calls the ultimatum. She makes provision for it in DR. This seldom gets discussed on the boards, but it's still a strategy. It's not giving up, it's using strength and direct force to test his resolve and his sincerity.
I think one of your terms is that after you get together again, if you find out he's spoken to, seen or text-messaged this woman ever again, you will throw him out and D him.
