Tostada, I'm sorry that you're hurting. It's natural to feel betrayed because you are being betrayed. Take the next advice with a grain of salt. I'm not sure where you are in the DBing process and in your mental processes, but, the thing that helped me to detach and to think less about what my W is doing is when I could see that life wouldn't always be like this and that joy and happiness can come again.
For me, that took the form of listening to what other people had to say about me and finally decoupling my self-image from my wife's input. She can say anything about me and it won't change what I think about me.
Another thing that helped me was to go back out into the social marketplace and see that other women find me attractive and that while my brain had known that she wasn't my only hope for love, sometimes it felt like that was true and by seeing that it wasn't true, I was able to detach some.
The last thing that helped me was to put a time limit on how long I was willing to continue trying to make things work before moving on. I'm sure that there are other ways, but, these are the things that have helped me.
