I read your post about your attempted conversation with your H, and I had the same reaction that others have already stated. I don't like how your H turns this around back onto you (I've seen the same attitude from my own W.) I agree that getting angry is counter-productive, but there is no need to beat yourself up over that. It was a natural reaction, maybe even justified, but it doesn't help your stance and just gives the WAS the ammunition they need to turn it completely around back onto you (us).
I have to keep reminding myself that cooler heads will prevail.
But again, your H is still dodging the real issues here and placing the onus squarely on your shoulders. Don't let him do that. Furthermore, his reaction brings into question his sincerity.
One piece of advice: Next time don't be the first to call the other to discuss when to meet. I don't like the implications of you calling him first to establish the meeting -- that should have been his job if he really wants to save the M.
Instead, let him continue to worry about you filing for D. Calmly remind him once more -- in clear, no uncertain terms -- what your minimal requirements are for him to prove his sincerity in reconciling the M -- put it in writing too, if need be -- and say no more. Leave the ball in his court and don't lift a finger to meet him any closer in the middle (I think we can all agree you've already done that in spades already.) For too long he's managed to get the upper hand. Instead, stand strong and let him sweat it.
If he can't comply with you minimal requirements -- getting rid of the OW once and for all, for example -- then calmly say nothing and just start taking actions to proceed with the very consequences you spelled out for H, namely, ending the M.
