Close encounters of the MLC kind

[hoosiermama]

Thank you. Yeah, resilience is my middle name. At least some days. And some days my home is more stable than others; some days we have a sink full of dishes and a mountain of dirty laundry and we eat fast food for dinner.

I don't look at it as my H being so unhappy that he left me for a crazy situation, because just a week or so earlier he was not unhappy. I see it more as temporary insanity with some subsequent justifying, rationalizing, cruelty and entitlement. It is essentially my H with the brakes off. Do I want to be in relationship with someone who doesn't want to be with me? No. Do I want to lose myself and my self-respect just to be with him? No. The only thing that alters my feelings is concern for D12. I am trying hard to drop the rope, close the door, begin again, but it's a slow process. I am also not the least bit interested in a new romantic relationship. Not because I'm hopeless or think little of myself, I just need to figure this all out before I even think about connecting with someone.