Hi glam, peace, millicent and breton-
My H came over to my house for dinner on Saturday. While he was here, we were watching some TV and in the program one of the characters was in C so during a commercial I asked my H how his IC went last week. So he told me what he and the C talked about. He said they talked about issues my H has with me dealing with my XH and his W. He is now saying that had an effect on our M. He also talked about how a long time ago I told him how to load the dishwasher and he thought I talked to him like I talked to the kids. I told him I was sorry that he felt that way. He said he doesn't want to me to apologize...he just wants to know that I hear him and accept him for who he is. I tried to tell him that I do hear him and I don't know what more I can do to show him that I accept him for who he is. I told him he seems to keep coming up with new issues and I asked if we were ever going to get beyond all of this stuff. My H told me that he thinks he is getting close. Is he???

Last night H went to a concert with me, my D and some of her friends. My H and I had seen this band in concert several years ago and I thought he enjoyed them but last night my H sat there the whole night making comments about the band not being that good, that some of the songs sound the same, blah, blah, blah. I know some of his comments were just him trying to be funny and I need to accept him for who he is BUT at times he was a little obnoxious and I just wanted to enjoy the concert. So will I always just have to accept him for who he is and my thoughts and feelings will be ignored?

glam, peace & millicent--You are right, I do need to keep looking at the progress...albeit slow, it is there. Thanks for reminding me.

breton, I don't really initiate phone calls or texts with my H and I agree that I mixing it up can be a good thing. But, we are told here that if something doesn't work, then try something different. What I have been doing does seem to be working...extremely slowly, but there is progress so I am not sure if I should change anything. I have wondered if I wasn't always available, if it would help speed up the process. I really think a lot of what my H is going through stems from his insecurities...so if that is is the case, wouldn't my consistancy help him feel safe?

I agree, no thanks to being a booty call. When my H was really cycling, I used to wonder if I was but he seems to be getting closer to me so I don't think I have to worry about that too much anymore...I hope!!!

Thanks for your thoughts...your support means so much to me.