Quote: I get the sense, she is trying to subtly provoke me into starting an OR talk for the purpose of her own personal agenda and right now, I don't want to give her that out.
KAW, is she provoking you or reaching out to you? Thing is, her agenda, whatever that may be, is going to come out sooner or later, my friend.
Quote: If she has something to say to me, she's gonna have to say it! Its also a 180 for me not to be first in the first to start OR talk. (May sound like a copout, but since I started DBing last year, our OR talks do work out better when I had let her initate them. The ones I've started don't always get a good outcome for either of us.).
I understand how you feel about not wanting to start and it being a 180; however, you've had a year to show her this 180, and I'm sure she sees your changes. I can't imagine that you NEVER starting an OR talk is healthy for your M. But, are you starting it if she continues to drop hints? Remember, as you've reminded me, it's ONLY about "what works," not whether we did a 180 six months ago only to find that we now have to reverse that 180.
