Playhouse

[Yoyowife]

Thanks everyone for holding my hand and smacking me when I need it. Theo, I didn't see your post. We must have posted at the same time. As usual your words resonate with wisdom.

I felt like I did so well Friday night and then I let my anger get me Sat. Friday night I asked him to be honest with me and he was. He told me she had been over there recently. He told me she was still calling him. He told me it had been a couple of weeks since she had been over. When I found the package he told me he just hadn't taken his trash out. Yes, the trash can was full and I looked down and just happened to see the cigarette pack below some other things, gold, it caught my eye. No, I wasn't digging through his trash. I can't help but think that maybe she planted them there hoping I would see them. I've got to learn to control my reactions.

Yes, I want more out of my marriage. I want to be able to feel loved, to have a companion, to have someone to share my pain and joy with. Can I accomplish this with him? I don't know. Friday night it seemed I saw a breakthrough in him that I haven't seen in weeks, but then Saturday I engaged him in an argument and undid everything from Friday night. I know it's not totally undone, I know I gave him lots of food for thought. But, I definitely set us back!

I've got to stop letting the skank get under my skin, that's exactly what she wants to do!