Hoosier, I read your thread and I think that you are an amazingly resilient woman. You have been through a lot yet you continue to maintain a stable home for your D.
I am divorcing my W although I never really wanted to. I figured that if she was so unhappy that she felt the need to develop a relationship with a man 10 yrs younger whom she was visiting in jail, I should allow her to pursue her life journey by divorcing her. I even had to think of nebulous reasons for the divorce so not to state that the reason was indeed adultery.
I felt that by freeing her from what she perceived as the shackles of marriage, I was freeing myself. I had to do a lot of mental work to reconceptualise my view of the situation. It was very hard to let go. I have now met a very nice woman, but I have to work on my resistance to commit. I am honest with her about how I feel and she has been incredibly patient.
The reason why I am saying all this Hoosier, is that to start a new life, I had to shut the door firmly behind my previous one. Are you ready for a new beginning? There is happiness in store for you, but not with your XH.
