I feel uncomfortable about your H's reaction when you found the cigarette carton and got angry. What right has your H to get mad at you about that? It just doesn't feel right. I think if your H were genuine about wanting to work on things then he would have been more concerned about how you were feeling than that. Getting angry back does not sound like the behaviour of someone wanting to reconcile.
Piecing is hard, and it's unlikely that you will get through that without some harsh words and arguments along the way. If your H is getting defensive and angry at this stage, when you are not even back under the same roof, then I feel sad. As I see it, he has learned that you back down when he comes on aggressive; it's a pattern he needs to break. It just doesn't smack of him being the slightest bit remorseful. If my H had still been having contact with OW like this I would have seen him pay in some way.( I mean, this guy is a non-smoker who will put up with the habits of a smoker in order to have a R with her but God forbid you mention he's had the skank around when he's M'd to you; where are his morals?).
If I am completely honest, it seems to me that he suddenly got nice because you mentioned the D word. It always makes him stand up and pay attention. My gut tells me he will just about say anything in order not to lose out financially.
Yoyo, you deserve WAY BETTER than the crumbs he is dishing out and hoping you will grab on to. I am sorry if I sound jaded but this just doesn't feel right. You stick to your guns and don't let him bully you back down.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
