I think the DAM SHOULD be confused, jealous, and concerned. I don't mean intentionally make him jealous. This just doesn't work with some men, makes them angrier...mine would be one of these examples...
I do think that it is good for him to wonder what you COULD be doing or who might show an interest in you.
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
Yestaerdays hash was quite wet! It poured and we walked. When we got back to the house for a BBQ we were wet down to our underwear! The host gave us all towels and put our clothes in the dryer. It was funny to be sat around wrapped up in towels.
I got home and xh was here. I told him I was cold and needed a hug so he hugged me a couple of times and kissed me and left.
Today is another Monday (blah)
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Sounds like you had fun last night despite the wet weather :).
ITH
Last edited by istherehope; 09/29/0803:30 PM.
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
Oh I wish he was here more He used to come over more but now it's usually for D. Last night she went to bed early for school this morning so he had to bring her home and put her to bed then wait for me to come home.
We had a good time...it's only water
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Sounds like a great walk. I love to walk in the rain even though I end up a shivering mess by the end of it. As long as there is no lighting I'm good to go!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Ha ha Jen, I knew it bothered him....The most important thing is: Read this part slowly: It bothers him that it bothers him!
On the cell phone issue...I would bring it up nicely and figure out a nice DB way of saying I will respect your privacy if you respect mine. My H had a key for awhile to our house and our garage code. Now Jodie told me weeks before to ask for it. He had moved out and wouldn't even take the kids to see his new place yet. So finally I did it and said when you give me a key to your place, I'll give you back your key to the house.
He still didn't get it that maybe I needed privacy at that point. (I didn't need it, but maybe I would have in the future, and maybe he needed to wonder why) But that I was going to respect that he needed his Man Cave. That's what I called it. The kids counselor even suggested to us that we all go over and have pizza and I could show them that it was okay to go there, because at that point the kids were now refusing to go. He wouldn't do that either. He called it the "prison cell".
One day soon after he ended contact with her in his effort to be transparent...one of the things he did was to bring me a key to his apartment on top of a few other things he did....I didn't give him a key until he moved back home though about a month and half later.....he never asked for it and I had told him the new garage code.
Anyway I digress as usual but what I am saying is don't let him have privy to things in your life that you are not privy to in his. Please get the point across in a non threatening way though.
Also, I am going to challenge you to a 180 for the week. I don't want you to initiate any hugs this week. See if he does the initiating. Now, it may take a few days or a week for him to notice but just see..... What do you think about the challenge? Now if he does the initiating please hug away. When I stopped initiating them with my H I went for weeks without one but you know what he started back initiating.....he had to miss it.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
I have to agree with Sandy at least in terms of the 180. I know you don't want to play games, but I don't think that making yourself just a little bit less available is playing games. If you don't initiate hugs, or don't initiate non-essential contact, I for one would like to see how he'd react!
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
