"Last night I got a little reminder that I still have work to do on myself, regardless of how well I think I may be doing."
You gotta stop saying it.. and put some action into it.
Can I blame it on her? There are so many times when she seems so emotionally attached to me, that it still scares me to emotionally detach from her. Does that make sense? To never really be comfortable with the idea of giving her the impression that I do not want her, need her and have to have her in my life? That seems to have been the issue since this all started...my fear of letting her truly think I am OK with what she wants. As good as things are, it is certainly not because I have been able to act "as if".
Just a little rant on my part.. but it can get frustrating when you keep telling someone "what to do". They repeat it back.. maybe even agree.. and then almost "disregard" it.
Yes, I know. Forrest, do you have children? My daughter's 19th birthday is today...I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes you can "tell" someone something until you are blue in the face, and they just don't get it.
My wife made homemade mac and cheese over the weekend..one of her specialties. She remarked about the sauce and how creamy it was, and that she used to put too much cheese in it. I reminded her how I used to "tell" her that when she first started making it...too much cheese, not enough "creaminess". She reminded me that she doesn't do well when someone tells her what to do. She needs to make her own mistakes and figure it out on her own. She reminded me the other day that D is the same way.
If you have "some people" (posters) following a common theme.. you owe it to yourself to explore that thought. DB'ing is about being "Smart".. not emotional.. making choices that effect the "long run" and not the "here and now".
I get that, and I'll tell you..with the way she has been the last few weeks it is truly hard not to think that there may have been some sort of movement from her.....and even though I am stuck on hearing something from her that will tell me for sure, I feel a different vibe in our interactions and have been trying to go with that.
Her night out, and me showing up to get her unexpectedly was one example. Yesterday it came up again somehow and she made a remark about the look on my face when I got there, and laughed about it. As Lin said in the post following yours, it went OK this time, but I think if it had been few months ago, or if I had just said one wrong word, it would have been a different story. The fact that it did not affect the weekend we just spent together is even more telling to me. I will have to come back and journal a little about that.
"This afternoon she sent me a text to ask if I wanted her to make chicken wings for tonight, or wait for the game Sunday night."
Did you pick up the phone and call her with your decision?
And thank her for "thinking of you"?
I texted back that it was up to her...save them for Sunday and the game if you want. She said "well YOU want them, don't you?"...we had chicken wings....and homemade mac and cheese.
