Thats whats got me thinking, no nudge, nudge, equals problems, could be somthing serious, could be somthing small.(would help if she said what it was) But if I add to that some of the critismns and nit picking then the old danger signs are there.
Also if I add to Arthurs point, I think sometimes some of the things I do reminds W of the old me and she definately reacts to that. On the other hand she said a few weeks ago that she sees a difference in me which shows that I am more decisive and ready to take on a challenge, so I am doing somthings right some of the times.
Anyway I'm sure I'll find out what the problem is sooner or later.
Lan i refuse to buy that we are responsable for our spouses' so called extracuricular activities. maybe 20% but not more. Is there room for improvement...absolutely and i commend you or anyone else who tries to better themselves. Good for you for being more decisive and taking on a challenge.
Could be right there Lan. That does make some sort of sense, but remember to be careful on what is basically an assumption as to why she is being like that. Your trusting your W, which is good, but I just want you to be careful.
Keep watching, keep those baby steps going and try not to work out whatever she may be thinking or what her actions might mean one way or the other.
The bottom line is Piecing is just as tough as the surviving the bomb as both WAW and LBS still have issues to contend with and us LBS's are very easily spooked by things that remind us of past hurt. I suppose the same can be said of the WAW and whilst the LBS wants to talk things through the WAW wants to bury the past, so you can see how the two forces will work against each other.
So I'll revert back to watching baby steps and tread carefully along the way.
The bottom line is Piecing is just as tough as the surviving the bomb as both WAW and LBS still have issues to contend with and us LBS's are very easily spooked by things that remind us of past hurt.
I think recognising this is another reason I jumped ship. I couldn't do it or got to a point where I didn't want to do it. I have massive respect for you and others in this forum and I've read your sitch from start to finish. You have some serious patience my friend, but now you've gone this far, you see it through to the end bro.
Your a good man, a very strong person and I'm sure your W recognises that now.
lanzo, i've been following your posts for quite some time and deauxlie gave me the good advice that you posted. Piecing is no cake walk. like you said lbs would l7kemore dialogue and was really dont want any part of that. how do we bridge the gap? i wish I knew. real easy to get spooked. but it would be much ea sier if was would go out of their way to try to reassure lbs. i think thats what i would try to do. but i guess they dont see it that way. any way, keep plugging along. check my thread out if you get a chance. (starting from scratch)
Last edited by daybyday; 09/30/0802:31 PM.
Fight the good fight no matter the quality of your opponent.
Me-50 WAW-45 S13 Married 24 years Bomb 1-Jan.2008 Disc. EA She came back for 8 years Bomb 2-Jan-2016 Separation 3-12-2016
The bottom line is Piecing is just as tough as the surviving the bomb as both WAW and LBS still have issues to contend with and us LBS's are very easily spooked by things that remind us of past hurt. I suppose the same can be said of the WAW and whilst the LBS wants to talk things through the WAW wants to bury the past, so you can see how the two forces will work against each other.
This is so true. I am facing the same kind of feelings in my M right now. Also, I'm not sure if your W was MLC, but the crisis isn't necessarily over when they decide they want to work on the M. So, the LBS still has to deal with the tail end (hopefully!) of the MLC. Saying this is not easy doesn't even begin to express just how hard piecing is.
I'm off to Barcelona today, I was going to keep my expectations low but the day started with a bit of nudge, nudge which was a surprise (the morning gal returns). My goals for the trip are to enjoy the break with W and D7, avoid any flashpoints and to come back still as friends. Also avoid getting robbed, been told there are lots of pick pockets about over there.
