Thanks for your words on h4h's thread. I don't know if I am helping people as much as helping myself. To hear their pain helps me be more understanding to my H and his feelings. He doesn't always share and it helps to see how I made him feel so that I can make amends that way. It's funny how I can see things so differently now. When you are in the thick of things you really can't see what is in front of you.
I admire how you have handled everything. Your wife checking up on you....interesting......she may be coming around. You, are hanging in there. I love how you have totally focused on your kids and being a father and yourself. You are smart to be waiting to date. Also, smart to be thinking about it. I think thinking about it is really the first step. To wrap your mind around the idea even is probably pretty scary/strange/exciting. It wouldn't be fair to anyone you see right now and you know that. Again, admirable. Being honest with them up front....smart.
It's not over until it's over. In church this weekend the readings were about being self righteous. The deacon did the homily and spoke of his brother who was a "player" all his life, made bad choices alll the time, married, cheated on his wife, divorced, etc. He spoke how his community hated him, the church abandoned him, etc. Meanwhile, his ex wife prayed for him. Had her whole church praying for him and he didn't know. Right before his brother asked another to get engaged to him, he drove to the state where his ex lived. He told the Deacon (his brother) that he needed to talk to her. He never came back. He is with his wife to this day, remarried. Power of prayer. The deacon also talked about how it saddened him because his brother felt like he could never come home because of the judgements of the people there. He said he can't see his brother but once or twice a year because of it. People and their "holier than thou" attitudes. He reminded us how Jesus told the people that the tax collectors, the lowly, the prostitutes, will get to heaven before all others. For me, this hit me, because even though I have done what I've done, I still tend to judge others on other things. I need to be better at that. Anyway, the beginning of the story, and the power of prayer made me think of you. Your wife is so lost, so in need of counseling, if anything, I hope she gets that. And you, you deserve happiness, however that will come to you.
