OM made ME feel special, sexy, not just the person available due to the fact that I'm laying right there next to him (BH) every night. I realized this weekend my H doesn't look me in the eyes when we ML. Now I completely understand this now, after all that's happened, but I realized he didn't do that before the A either. And that's exactly what OM did. Always looked in my eyes. Of course, I didn't know he was going to do that before I started the A, but all the pre-physical stuff seemed so flattering, so special. Now I realize that it was all fake, on both of our parts. And what I should have done was look at my marriage before the A, and tried to figure out what it was that I had issues with, and talked with my H then. And I so regret not doing this. I so regret it.
