I believe in Miracles

[Separated]

Ditto to what Jen suggested.

He is showing positive steps with and since the email but do not take this as everything is ok and push too much because of it. That might cause him to get scared and back off again. Continue on the slow pace and let him continue to reach out to you.

I am so glad that you are in a better mood and feeling better. Also glad that you had a good time going out to dinner. Keep up the GAL and working on you. Have a good Sunday!!!

[istherehope]

Thanks Jen and Sep,

I agree, I need to stay the slow course! I haven't reached out yet, beyond the response to his email, and I waited nearly 48 hours :). My guess is he thought I'd jump on it(after all he brought it up twice in IM too).

I am appreciating the nicer contact, the joking and the nicknames and will continue to match his tone, but not to test the waters unless he makes a dramatic gesture.

Jen, I need to figure out a good way to ignore something on IM if needed. Sometimes we're in the middle of a normal conversation, just chatting about the pets etc., and suddenly he throws in R talk. He knows I'm there because we were just talking...I've tried to be brief and change the subject when possible, like when he asked if I got the email. Thing is we still need to discuss my return dates. I am purposely waiting until the last minute as it will give him more time to soften, and for things to improve. Problem is he gets really freaked out about this. I wonder next time if he starts that conversation if I should say let's set a time to talk about it when I'm not at work? In some ways he's like a little kid...

OK hope you are both enjoying your weekend. My internet is still down so am typing this on my Blackberry!

ITH

[daisy282]

Hey ITH

I think you are on the right track. The secret is to keep those expectations at bay when things start getting better (not that I can tell you how to do that, I just know it is important, lol)

I think what you said about "can we talk about this when I am not at work" would be a good way to handle it. He is always telling you to focus on your career anyways!

Keep going darling! You'll make it!

[istherehope]

Thanks Daisy!

If we can avoid R talks over IM for at least a week, I think we'll be good. I know for sure that I can avoid bringing up the topic! He hasn't responded to my email response, but this is probably a good thing...probably means I didn't freak him out! The fact that he logged on to chat with me yesterday after he would have already received the email makes me feel a little calmer. You never know with these WAHs. You can think you are doing everything right and some random thing will set them off! Anyway, I am feeling good, but will NOT make any dumb moves like begging to come home! Of course I HAVE written those fake letters where I ask to come home...:)

Well tonight (since it's 8 PM here already) I am going to watch the Sex in the City movie on my laptop. This should be fun and lighthearted, and definitely not something H would have wanted to do. However he has this annoying crush on Charlotte...:)

ITH

[daisy282]

Men. . .lol

Have fun! Enjoy your movie.

[Separated]

Hey ITH!!! Oh yes they are like little kids at times aren't they!! LoL. Enjoy the movie tonight.

It sounds great that he is still sending the light hearted IMs and calling you pet names !!!

I agree that whenever he brings up R talk you should avert the topic or ask if you can discuss it when you are not at work, he should hopefully understand that as he is the one always telling you how important your career is.

Hope you had a good weekend!!!

[istherehope]

Thanks Sep,

Well today is Jewish New Year and he is someone who converted to Judaism when I first met him. I am going to send a quick note saying Happy New Year. Am tempted to say new year, new start? I'll bite my tongue though...

I do hope that these little reminders of "normal" life will start to have an impact on him. I still think it's weird that he used the phrase "when I found out you were coming back." He was really so far gone that me coming back didn't seem like reality to him. This dose of reality seems to be what helped a bit.

So, back to the Secret, something I am discussing only on these boards...I asked for a sign of H's intentions toward me, and saw not 1 but 3 bridal parties within a few hours. One was in a car when I got stuck at a traffic crossing. Then I also got that email from the friend who told me to hang in there (she has never met H).

I love the Secret...

ITH

[JCJ]

ITH

How was your weekend? You are sounding more lots positive at the moment. I have to say that I have been very sceptical of the Secret up to now but perhaps I should read it and form a view. I'm pleased that you are sounding happier and thank you for all your help on my thread with my sitch, I really appreciate it.

[istherehope]

Hi JCJ,

My weekend was OK, not too exciting as all of the expat managers were out of town! This means I had to just wander around on my own, but I didn't mind too much :).

Yeah I know the Secret sounds hokey, but I think that if it is something that can make you feel better, then it's better to believe in it than not to believe in it. I really do believe in it now, and even if it is only me noticing coincidences, I'd rather focus on the positives than on the negatives.

So no contact from H as of yet today or yesterday. He was online for about 30 minutes, then gone again. I feel like he's back in his cave...anyway I am going to send the Jewish New Years email, because I don't think it can cause any harm, and might actually be seen as a positive thing. I won't say New Year, new start though :).

How are you doing?

ITH

[JCJ]

Yeah, not bad I had a nice weekend with friends and the weather was gorgeous which really helped. I think it is a nice thing to send the New Year email. Can you send an ecard?