If I may.... I'm so sorry, I never wanted to hurt you. You are a great man, an awesome father....put on the breaks right there Kar(that's what I should have said). PLEASE just tell me that I am weak, that I'm a douche bag, and that you no longer are attracted to me BECAUSE I am no longer the man you married. You found someone else and gave me time to get my $#!t together. Tell me that you are weak and always have been and that I knew that going in. So we are equaly responsible, and the more I beg and cry the more of a douche I will be. Tell me that if I check your email and react to it, talk to your friends about you(even if they call me to talk about you) it will give you ammo and validation. Tell me if I go on a search of why people leave and read a book about making changes, not only will it take longer to get my identity back, but the "changes" I make will be painfully transpatent and I will creep you out, along with everyone around me. Tell me that if I focus so much on "getting you back" and "busting a divorce", I will completely lose sight of what life is all about. Most importantly PLEASE tell me that when I stop pushing you away and find the right answers(in the right book) it all will hit the fan. Then tell me that you will accept no responsibility for your part, wrap it up in a nice little package and lets have a great 14 more years.
It's amazing what I read. And how long it took to find the right answers. You can't focus 100% of your energy/karma/cosmic rays/thoughts on another person no matter if you are happily m's or on the brink of d. You just can't. Your focus won't be where it should be, which is on God, living how he wants us to live. I love the post from BND on Franks thread...Why? because it is what it is about. Waiting, but waiting because you need to get right with Him, live how He wants you to live. Not so someone will notice. But every self help book read is for the sole purpous(besides making $$$$$, which there is nothing wrong with making it) of whatever the book is written about. There is no answer to all the problems in any self help book. Great you busted your D. You still are depressed, you haven't touched the surface. How can you be in a R, if you have no idea how to live your own life. When we read these books we feel that we have to act a cretain way to attain the results. I don't know where I am going with this.... I guess it doesn't matter cuz it's my thread. I guess that maybe I am seeing results in my life from where I am spiritually and am realizing the the Bible would have been a better DB'ing tool than any of the books.... Had I been looking(anywhere) because of the right reasons.
Last edited by phoenyx; 09/29/0804:35 AM.
I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.
