I'd love to get a dog, but I'm not around enough to do it justice. Someday.
This AM I did Bikram Yoga. They heat the room up to 105 degrees and then you go through a set of poses. I sweat like a pig, but it was great! Muscles all relaxed and toxins sweated out. I'm going to start going regularly. I left feeling so energized and focused, like the world was bright with possibilities again.
AG - I'm afraid my sitch made me into a morning person. I usually get up at 5:30 and work for a couple hours before heading in. It's actually the most productive period of the day. I'd love to sleep longer, but now the cats expect me to get up and when I don't, they do their best to wake me.
Kat - I'm trying to get back on top. My sitch caused a lot of stuff to slide and now it's all weighing on me. I HAVE to get it done and off my plate. As that happens, I'll be more and more free.
Went to a fun post-Burning Man party last night. Pretty mellow, but met some new folks and possibly a ski buddy.
Hi Kalni! Thanks for stopping by. I've been bad and haven't been over with some wine and olives for awhile. Thanks for the support - part of me felt like I was holding on to past wrongs, but what the he11. If someone wants to be my friend, they need to show friendship.
thanks Karen - yes, I've stopped being nice. Funny, I never thought about it before, but in the past brief A she had, and the ones she was in before I met her, she always said she wanted to be friends with them but bemoaned the fact that they didn't seem to want that. She chalked it up as their problem. Red flags.
She keeps telling our friends that she did a lot of soul-searching and had to do what was right for her. I'm sure she really, truly believes that, because she wouldn't let reality intrude. She needed to shape reality into her decision. I tried really hard to listen attentively, I let her have space, I avoided R talks, I showed support, and when she brought up R, I asked her to tell me what she wanted and to give me the chance to provide it. She said she couldn't return to the R with conditions. Now, all of the reasons she gave for leaving in the first place have become subservient to the fact that she "can't deny her feelings, even though she doesn't understand them" and that she "has to do what's right for her." Sure, there are two sides. I'm sure she feels totally justified. But she never even gave things a single chance, and I find it hard ending a marriage that way. Her sister told me that she doesn't know how to prioritize a relationship and that I did everything I could.
So, it's a new reality, but one that doesn't include me and I'm okay with that because, as Mike said, I AM moving on. It'll take longer for me than her, but I think I'll be more complete in the end.
But enough of her. I've been cleaning all day - blech. Apparently the spiders have moved inside, because suddenly there are a ton of cobwebs. At least the cats have stopped shedding.
Tonight I'm eating the last of the coho salmon - how sad! Summer is so nice - the fava beans, the crab, the salmon, the tomatoes, the chilies, the chard, the peppers, the peas. I got my second round of squash in my veggie box yesterday, along with some potatoes & onions and the first of the small turnips. Uggh - winter is coming.
