Thank you AMy and Sandi. after I had replied, I had thought about the situation. I want my wife back and i know this would have been very wrong. Amy as a former MLC/WAW can you give me a timeline about where she might be in this mess? Sandi, I really would like your opinion on this as well. Yes I am lonely, yes I am vulnerable and have no desire to be with anyone other than my wife. I was flattered, but I let people know that my positon is unchanged, I beleive my wife will come back and don't want to do anything that may change it. the loneliness is tough. I have people I talk with, they listen, they give me support, but it doesn't remove the loneliness. I am having a very bad day today. Found out last sunday at the camp, she asked a couple of our friends she was hanging out with, if it would be ok if the OM stopped by. One of our friends left, immediately. the other couple, the wife walked away and the husband talked to him, mostly to say how wrong this all was, that you were suppose to be his friend and you did this. Tell yourselves anything you want to make yourselves feel better or convinvce yourself that this is what it is, but your lying to yourselves. I thanked them all for this.
I cannot get my arms around it still. I was at the camp Friday night and so was she. she was meeting up with the OM at some dance club when he got out of work , he works till 11. We played LCR which is a dice game with some friends who asked me to sit down and play. i did not sopeak with my W, but was having fun and getting good comments from the women playing how wonderfull ti was that I was still on the wagon and how good i looked. After the second game, she went into the bathroom, locked the door and called the OM. she talked with him for about 10-15 minutes. 3 weeks ago she did the same thing, she saw me, I didn't speak with her, she went ito the bathroom to talk with him. Is it possible that I am getting to her emotionally? what I mean is, if I am near here and I am dark, no really talking with her but having a good time and laughing, is she calling him to remind herself she is happy with someone else? I don't understadn why she wouldn't go outside to talk or whatever. Is she seeing me in a new light and it could be bothering her that I am really changed and she feeling it? I am not trying to analyze all this but it is strange that she would do this the two times we were out socially in the same event. I have not spoken with ehr or text since Friday night. I did disappear Friday night over to a friends place and waited until she left before I went back to my camp. Firends told me she left, then came back and was asking where I was. No one knew. They told her I got a text and a phone call and left. There is a chance that she had heard about the woman at the camp who liked me. Although she wasn't there, my W would have had no way of knowing whethter she was or wasn't. I am suppose to do her brakes on her car for her wednesday night, again she wants me to do them and didn't ask heer brother the mechanic. I see this as a positive sign, mayb trying to get some sort of connection going with me. One friend suggests she may be feeling me out, seeing how I repsond to her. You two would know better having gone through it. A friend of mine who went through it 23 years ago, wasn't up this weekend. she and her husband have been giving the same advice as this website. My W looks worse, seesm to have lost more weight and even her hair looks thin. she colors it everytime she meets up with this OM. Keeping her hair darker to look yunger, but the weight loss is making her face look older. I miss her terribly. I don't feel like i need her anymore, but now I seem to want her more than ever. Is this strange? Sandi, you said it will get worse before it gets better, worse, how? I don't think It can get any worse than it is. I am connecting with friends I haven't talked to since this all started. One friends girlfriend had told him that my W was seeing someone, not a lot of details. But she also told him that my W looks awful and that she deosn't seemto be herself. She seems different, withdrawn and depressed. I am meeting them this week just to say hi. It is two months today since the bomb. Oct 6 would be my 28th wedding anniversary. It will be a hhard day for me. Her mother wants to see how my W handles the day. she told me that maybe that will snap her out of it. I told it would be a nice thought, but probably unlikely. Although some people I have talked with say that these types of things can jar people into rethinking what they have done. Any thoguhts? Thanx again to both of you for your support. Yes I did take stock in myself and feel that even thoguh she is with OM, and people are telling me whats good for the goose..., I cannot be unfaithful. two wrongs don't amke it right.
