Hi friends Millicent glad you are doing well Upside and Nlt thanks for visiting D is difficult it certainly adds more stress to a very torn relationship H just here to take S7 He looked at me..He looked sad as if crying I sense the tears are there, only he cant get in touch with them and he tries to run but cant anymore So I sense he is entering a true depression I may be wrong b/c I have thought he was depressed for a year but this seems deeper now anyway..we talked for a brief moment He has a few health things going on he appears confused- we talked about L and how we will talk this week something he is avoiding??? of course I read the book the script..It is excellent and it is clear how many of our H fall into this to a T I really liked the ending the finale the author said..the men all say they didnt expect it to be this way..she says most regret the choices, but will never admit it sad! anyway..I will always love my H..I will probably always keep an open line there for him to grab onto and help him but I am going through with my D I will move on in an appropriate time Peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Upside nothing new here. H is away on a week trip to visit his family that he hasnt seen in many years..He mentioned to my D that he visited his childhood house and school..That is probably a good thing. He continues to gain weight, manage his work issues poorly, stall, avoid the Lawyers and basically not really move anywhere.. he visits 4x a week and is usually friendly..talks about his work struggles ..but he continues to believe our M is over.. so I see him closer to a bottom depressed confused unhappy but he contines to ,maintain staying above bottom He could be there a long time.. H still denies OW I am moving forward not dating but noticing working on me my kids and my business working on being ok with it all and letting H go still in couseling and I definitely see hope for a new start I also am really wondering if anything is left for me and H I think I am going forward and there seems to be no room for back I may be done with H so for any of you out there that think we never get done I thought I would never let H go but I now see the light at the end of my tunnel life will be fine and maybe better than I knew without H Peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
also am really wondering if anything is left for me and H I think I am going forward and there seems to be no room for back I may be done with H so for any of you out there that think we never get done I thought I would never let H go but I now see the light at the end of my tunnel life will be fine and maybe better than I knew without H
I think that, in many cases, this is a necessary step...accepting that it is over and the only path for us is one that moves away from H. It is also an emotional realization...at least for me. Even Michelle acknowledges that not all marriages can be saved.
I posted on my thread that I give credit to those who can still love and stand, despite how they have been treated. There are times that I am disappointed in myself for giving up and walking away. But, at what point do you accept reality? At what point do you recognize that it is beyond your control? At what point do you say enough is enough?
You are right - we are in a tunnel too....and we should be working toward seeing the light at the end of our tunnel. Life will be fine and, more than likely, better.....bumpy at times...but good.
Hey peace- I am glad that you are able to distance yourself more from your H's problems. He is still avoiding finding the answers while you are moving forward finding answers for yourself. I really admire the way you have handled your situation...still caring for your H but being willing to accept that his choices are beyond your control. IMO, there comes a time when you have to stop trying to analyze the WAS's actions and just accept things for what they are. When we can get to that point, it is very freeing. It sounds like that is where you are at and I am so happy to know that you are in a good place and have made so much progress.
Continue moving forward and being happy. We can only hope and pray that someday soon your H will follow your lead and figure out how to be happy too.
Hi Nothing new here It is about 20 months since bomb H is stalling with D I think he is just avoiding the issue but shows no signs of movement here toward home he seems exactly the same he sometimes seems like a little lost boy who basically spins in circles I wonder if he will ever move Im beginning to think not I decided to go ahead with D and called my L the other day so the process will begin I am not dating and still standing, but im preparing to move ahead soon I feel bad and sorry to leave my H in the mess he seems to be in but I have no control and he continues to say this is what he wants peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Peace, you have tried your hardest, take comfort in that. Your h is a lost little boy, who may never grow up. Do what you must to be happy and be there for your children. Only you know in your heart the road you need to take. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hi peace- I don't know that I could have put anything better than bm did. You know there are no guarantees that your H will come out the other side of this and still want the M. You have waited 20 months to see if your H will give you any hope but he keeps teling you that this is what he wants. Just because you move forward and proceed with the D does not mean that if he were to want to reconcile later, that you wouldn't consider it. I think you are handling the situation the best possible way.
Just maybe your movement away will help your H make some movement and finally see clearly that you are not the source of his problems...we can only hope.
